


“Iubirea vieții mele.”

by FeralCreed



Series: WinterHawk Chronicles [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky taking care of Clint, Lucky the pizza dog - Freeform, M/M, Teasing, briefly referenced past rape/non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 13:53:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6472582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralCreed/pseuds/FeralCreed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at an average day in the life of Clint and Bucky. Warnings for some language and brief non-graphic mention of rape/non-con.</p>
            </blockquote>





	“Iubirea vieții mele.”

Bucky is woken by Clint backhanding him in the face. He shoots up into a sitting position, bewildered and totally off guard, and barely manages to catch Clint's wrist before he's smacked again. For a moment he has no idea why his boyfriend is striking at him, but a single look tells him that Clint is in the grip of a nightmare. When Bucky grasped his wrist, the blond man whimpered, but Bucky doesn't want to let him go and risk him hurting himself.

 

“Please, no, I'll be good,” Clint begs. “Don't- agh!” He flinches when he cries out, his back arching off the bed. “No, no, leave him alone. _Bucky, no!_ ”

 

“Jarvis, lights at five percent. Clint, wake up,” Bucky orders him. “Wake up now. Baby, please, just wake up. You can do this, you can do it for me. Just wake up, god, please.”

 

After what seems like far too long, Clint wakes up, jackknifing up off the bed with a strangled scream. Bucky instantly releases his wrist, murmuring apologies and soothing words. Clint doesn't seem to hear him, digging his fingers through his hair and gasping for breath. Lucky whines and pads up the bed to nose at his master's face, sitting between his knees and thwapping his tail back and forth. Clint drops his forehead to the dog's, fingers curling through his fur.

 

“Fuck, Clint, I'm sorry,” Bucky says, his arms around his knees. “I'm so sorry I had to restrain you.”

 

“Just c'mere,” Clint replies, holding a hand out without raising his forehead from Lucky's. Bucky takes it and curls his fingers around it delicately.

 

“I'm sorry,” Bucky repeats. “Clint, I didn't want to.”

 

“S'okay, Buck. I coulda hurt myself. You had to make sure I didn't.”

 

“Doesn't mean I have to like it. Wanna talk about it? You don't have to.”

 

“Uh, it, was, ah, Hydra. Back in that base you got me out of. My dad showed up. Just memories in a different setting. Guess it was just worse this time around.”

 

“Meant what I said. He touches you again and I'll kill him.”

 

“Yeah, Buck, I know. Thanks. Although I think you'd have to share with Nat.”

 

“Hey, me and her were a damn good team back in the day.”

 

“Old man.”

 

“ _Iubirea vieții mele_.”

 

Clint huffs and shakes his head. “You charmer.”

 

“If it works, I do it. Want a hug?”

 

“Please.”

 

Bucky wraps an arm around Clint and holds him close to his side, fingers brushing through his hair. Lucky sniffs at both their faces and licks Clint's chin before settling down across both their laps. He soon has two hands petting him, although Bucky's focus is admittedly on Clint. This isn't the first time the two of them have sat up after a nightmare, even before Hydra, but Bucky has always been more concerned for Clint than for himself.

 

“You want to stay up?” he asks. Sometimes they try to go back to sleep, sometimes they don't. Regardless of Clint's choice, Bucky doesn't intend to let him go any time soon. The only thing worse than a nightmare is one faced alone. At least if one of them is gone on a mission, Lucky is around. He's not the best substitute for a lover, but he's affectionate and both men have curled up on the couch with him more than once.

 

“Dunno,” Clint admits. “I guess we can just lay down and see how it goes.”

 

“Sounds like the perfect solution,” Bucky tells him. He lays down and waits for Clint to do the same. When the blond slides down next to him, he lets Bucky hold him, but it takes a while for him to relax at all. Lucky has his head resting on Clint's thigh, and that seems to help as well. That doesn't mean it's any easier for the two of them to try to rest, and eventually Bucky lightly nudges Clint's hip.

 

“Hot chocolate?” Bucky asks. Clint nods in reply, and Bucky presses a kiss to his forehead before slipping out of the room. In a few minutes he returns with two steaming mugs.

 

“Thanks,” Clint says softly. He leans into the dark-haired man's side and took a sip. “S'hot. Good.”

 

“It wishes it was half as hot as you are.”

 

“Old people these days, with their flirting and their hot chocolate.”

 

“Please tell me that's not an euphemism,” Bucky mutters.

 

Clint chuckles quietly. “Not this time. But thanks.”

 

“For dealing with your mind living in the gutter?”

 

“No, for the hot chocolate. And that, yes.”

 

“Well, you're most definitely welcome. And I love you.”

 

“Love you, too, _dragă_.” Rather than fill the space between them with words, Bucky sits quietly. Lucky snuffles and growls in his sleep, but otherwise the bedroom is comfortably silent. Clint shifts a few times but stays at his boyfriend's side. It seems as though they both intend to stay awake through the rest of the night. Or at least, Clint doesn't try to go to sleep and Bucky refuses to do so until his boyfriend does.

 

Bucky sets their cups on the nightstand when they're done and holds Clint close to him, stretching out a bit to get comfortable. Eventually it starts to get lighter outside. “How you doing, doll?” he asks quietly before kissing his cheek.

 

“Just a little tired. Otherwise I'm fine.”

 

“You telling the truth?”

 

“S'just hard. I wanna be normal already.”

 

“Baby, that's not gonna happen for a while. It takes time to heal. Sometimes a lot of it. Don't worry, _aducător de lumina soarelui_. No matter what happens, I will be here for you and to help you.”

 

“I love you, Buck.”

 

“And I love you. More than anything. You wanna go to sleep? Said you were tired.”

 

“Well, it's daytime,” Clint points out.

 

“Hey, take sleep where you can find it. We can let our sleep cycles straighten themselves out once you're better. Trust me.”

 

“Mmkay.” Clint slides down in bed and wraps his arm around Bucky's waist. Usually Bucky curls around Clint's body, but in their current situation, this seems to be the best way to do things. Both of them still crave contact, even if Clint doesn't want anyone wrapped around him. It's been a while since Bucky was the little spoon in cuddling, but he has to admit it feels nice. Especially since it makes Clint comfortable.

 

Once he's comfortable with where he's laying, Bucky twines his fingers with the hand dangling over his stomach. Clint nuzzles the back of his neck and shoves a foot between his ankles. He would prefer to have his and Bucky's roles reversed, but that's not going to happen for a while. Despite his desire, it's a little too easy for his brain to replace Bucky's comforting weight with the heavy force of a Hydra rapist. It drives Clint mad, but he can only do so much before he's too tense, and Bucky almost always manages to pick up on his discomfort.

 

They manage to sleep for hours, until the morning is predawn half-light has faded into something that's annoyingly bright. Bucky half-opens one eye before groaning and closing it again. “Cliiint. I know you know you're the light of my life, but please, turn the sun off.”

 

“Uh?” Clint raises his head and blinks a few times. “Yes. Go ahead. Turn the sun off.”

 

For some reason the room actually does grow a bit darker, and Bucky opens an eye again. “Jarvis, I love you.” The AI had adjusted the opacity settings on the bedroom windows facing the sun. Somehow Tony had managed to give the windows a zero-to-hundred option. Usually they left the windows clear, but sometimes in the morning, they can't help but give in to using Tony's genius inventions. Especially when it's so bright outside.

 

“Despite your sentiments not being fully returned, you are most welcome, Sergeant Barnes,” the AI replies. Both humans are quiet, even if they do make little noises as they start waking up more fully. Clint starts mumbling about coffee, and Bucky carries him into the kitchen so he can get his caffeine fix and breakfast. H doesn't initiate any conversation, but the blond doesn't seem to mind too much. They sit side by side drinking coffee, and Clint leans against Bucky's shoulder rather than waking up all the way.

 

“Can we go back to bed after breakfast?” Clint asks, staring at his coffee cup.

 

“You okay?” Bucky replies, concerned.

 

“Probably, I don't know. Just feeling tired. You can wake me up to feed me for lunch and dinner.”

 

“Do you really think you're going to sleep that long, _mierloi_?” Bucky's a little alarmed now. It's not normal for Clint to sleep that much, especially considering that he slept half the day yesterday. The first day after missions is always set aside for sleeping and recovering, and Bucky knows better than to think Clint is doing better already, but so much sleeping can't be healthy.

 

“Not really, but just saying. I don't want to sleep that long, but we'll see what happens. You need to feed me, though.”

 

“Worms,” Bucky agrees.

 

“Uh, no,” Clint protests, indignant despite the fact that he's still half asleep. “I need to eat a diet approved for human consumption.”

 

“And that diet will include more than pizza and chocolate?”

 

“Gee, I dunno.”

 

Bucky chuckled and nuzzled Clint's hair. “It will, _pisoi_. You need to eat properly. And that means more than junk food. Okay?”

 

“C'mon, Buck, not okay.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“Hey, now, using that to get me to do what you want isn't fair.”

 

“Only if it doesn't work.”

 

“Rude.”

 

“Madly in love.”

 

“Hmph. The 'mad' part is right.”

 

“Fine. Feed me as you like. But not too many vegetables!”

 

Bucky laughs at the pouting look his boyfriend has. “Not too many. Gotta take care of my best fella, though. Make sure he's given the best of everything.”

 

“And yet, he's stuck with this nerd who threatens to feed him worms and vegetables. Really cute nerd, but a nerd.”

 

“Calling me a nerd? You're the one who can quote video games. I didn't even know you could do that.”

 

“Well, I mean, I'm highly intelligent. I gotta do something with my spare time.”

 

“Neeerrrddd,” Bucky sing-songs. He hugs Clint and presses a smacking kiss to his temple. “And I love it. You're amazing.”

 

“I love you too. Gonna feed me a worm- and vegetable-free breakfast?”

 

“Maybe. I might sneak a piece of broccoli in there somewhere.”

 

“Eugh, you're disgusting.”

 

“That's what she said.”

 

“C'mon, why do you make sex jokes when I can't fuck you? It's not fair.”

 

“Pretty sure being around Tony so much permanently corrupt my sense of humour.”

 

“Bucky, I thought I was the only one allowed allowed to corrupt you. Tony better not have too many stories about you.”

 

“Just a few. One or two exciting ones.”

 

“Oh really? I'll have to ask for suggestions so I can do better.”

 

“The offer intrigues me,” Bucky says, raising an eyebrow as he smirks.

 

“Give me a couple months and I'll show you how much you intrigue me.”

 

“As long as that's what you want, I look forward to it.”

 

“You'll be looking at a lot more.”

 

Bucky laughs and kisses him. “I love you. What do you want for breakfast?” Clint takes a breath. “Other than pizza.”

 

“Taking all the fun out of it isn't any fair,” Clint pouts. “Um... pancakes?”

 

“Sounds brilliant.” Bucky gets up and turns the stove on to the proper setting. He picks a cast iron pan from the several hanging over the stove and sets it on the burner before getting the pancake mix and other necessary ingredients. It doesn't take long for him to get everything mixed up, and he mixes chocolate chips in with the batter, much to Clint's delight. They drown their food in syrup, and Bucky tops his with blueberry pie filling as well.

 

“Doing the dishes?” Clint asks.

 

“Long as you wanna help with them.”

 

“No problem.” Clint picks up his dishes and carries them over to the sink, filling the basin with water and reaching for a few measuring cups that Bucky had left on the counter. Once they get all the dishes gathered, Clint starts washing them off while talking with Bucky. Since it's annoying to clean food out of the grooves of his metal hand, he usually takes to drying the dishes instead of washing. He stacks them on the counter but doesn't bother putting them away, instead guiding Clint to the bedroom. They take turns in the bathroom, and Bucky checks his bandages, but after that they both end up in bed again. Lucky doesn't join them, since he's already passed out in the living room.

 

“Tell me a story,” Clint requests.

 

“All right.” Bucky settles comfortably and starts talking. His grandparents were Romanian immigrants, so Bucky grew up in a dual-language household. Of course, Hydra had taken away a good part of his memories, so his grasp on the language had been a little tenuous for a while, but most of it had come back. What hadn't returned on his own was learned from the multiple resources that Tony had made available to him. Clint doesn't understand beyond the endearments, but he likes hearing Bucky talk in the language and says it helps him sleep.

 

Bucky rambles with his storytelling. Once he's sure that Clint is asleep, he brushes a kiss to his forehead and yawns. He's not quite asleep himself, so he reaches for his phone and puts it on the lowest brightness setting. It's not enough to keep his boyfriend awake but enough to keep him entertained. There are a dozen texts from various Avengers and friends asking about Clint's well-being, and he answers them all before opening the Kindle app. Clint can sleep as he likes, and Bucky will keep himself busy in the meantime. Later today, they might run into something that sets Clint off, but for now, they're both content.

 

 


End file.
